It seems I have spent much of my life surprised that things could actually happen to me
. People warned me – you could get pregnant, you could end up with an abusive partner, you could get frostbite – I haven’t had frostbite, but they were right about the other two. I could, and did, get pregnant. It took an abortion to get it through my head that I wasn’t somehow immune to sperm. I also had an abusive partner. That one was a slow simmering, like the proverbial frog in a pot, little mean comments, a pinch, hands around my neck. Shock.
When it’s finally over, Rose slides me out of a machine like a pizza from a stone oven. The buzzing in my head doesn’t stop, it’s as if the machine is still on, still reverberating in my ears. Rose helps me up and hurries me out of the room. “Sometimes you’ll pee blue after the injection. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal.”
When I was pregnant, I would often dream that the baby was being gestated in someone else or in some sort of incubator. I would wake from these dreams comforted and then reach down to my swelling stomach and feel a horror that my body was doing this thing, growing this person, without any help. Now it’s growing something else, all on its own.
المملكة العربية السعودية أحدث الأخبار, المملكة العربية السعودية عناوين
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