“There’s always ups and downs and it’s super messy.”
After she lost her mother to cancer last year, Olivia Hahn, 16, read about the five stages of grief, imagining an orderly transition from denial, anger and bargaining, to depression and acceptance.“What I’ve learned through this is that it’s more of a rollercoaster — that there’s always ups and downs and it’s super messy,” said Olivia.
“That’s when I know that a child or teenager is finished grief therapy,” said Roberts, describing a person who can talk about a loved one with possibly a smile or acknowledgment of the beauty in that person or those moments without breaking down. Born on March 16, 1972, Kilshaw last worked at the B.C. Pension Corporation. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018 and, by November 2021, it had spread to her brain. She died on Jan. 21, 2022 at 49. Olivia was 15.
After her mother’s death, Olivia said, she retreated to her room. She didn’t want to hug her father. She felt there was no one with whom she could relate. Even with her brother and father around, the family home felt empty. One work is Grief is Like: Poem. In it, Olivia remembers her mother’s last breath as if “you were just giving your air to me to keep me from suffocating.”
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Teen who lost mom writes book to help others deal with griefFor 16-year-old Olivia Hahn, whose mother died last year, grief was like a roller coaster: “There’s always ups and downs and it’s super messy.”
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