DEAR ABBY: My older brother is toxic.
What you should NOT do is allow your ex-wife’s vindictiveness to dictate your social life. If you would like to bring your girlfriend of five years to the party, make plain to your ex that you’re bringing her, and then do it. Mildred does not have to like Eleanor to behave like a gracious hostess and a lady.
Actually, counselling might be helpful for you and Eleanor to help you learn how to handle Mildred in the future, because there will probably be more family celebrations. You have my sympathy.I am a daughter who has spent 40 years helping out my parents. My father passed away seven years ago, and I miss him every day. My mother, whom I love very much, has become very needy, demanding and vocal in running all of our lives since Dad’s death. I’m at my wit’s end and don’t know what to do.
Encourage her to become active with her church or to seek out volunteer opportunities, and guide her toward the nearest senior centre where she can find companionship, commiseration and activities she may enjoy to fill her time. I wish you luck. You are all still in the midst of a transition, and they are rarely easy.
— Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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