Dear Amy: I’m a 55\u002Dyear\u002Dold man. I legally changed my (first) name when I was 25 years old
I legally changed my name when I was 25 years old, mainly because I was the fourth “John” in my family, with many of us sharing the same name.Sign up to receive daily headline news from the Ottawa SUN, a division of Postmedia Network Inc.By clicking on the sign up button you consent to receive the above newsletter from Postmedia Network Inc. You may unsubscribe any time by clicking on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of our emails. Postmedia Network Inc.
She married my older brother when I was a teen and has become the matriarch of the family after our parents’ deaths.I was upset that Wendy objected when I referred to myself as “Uncle Chosen Name.”Article contentHer own children call me by my chosen name, so there is no way this child will grow up using my birth name.
Wendy also creates awkward moments when she introduces me to her friends and says to me as an aside, “I explained about your name.” What? Why is she explaining ANYTHING for me? They don’t need to have my name explained, especially in a way that makes me look like a gadfly with a personality disorder.How do I get her to understand that my name isn’t her choice and that her actions are extremely insulting and demeaning?You don’t seem to have ever responded to “Wendy” directly when she refuses to use your legal name of three decades.
I suspect that her reaction may have to do with a previous “John” in your family who she would like to continue to honour, but given that this is a pattern with her, you should be able to anticipate her reaction and prepare a response – either directly to her in the moment, or privately with her soon afterward.Rehearse in advance, if that works for you. Try a version of: “Wendy, I don’t get it. What is it with you and my name? I really need you to understand that this is my legal name.
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